Paris Hilton
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Reality personality and creator of “That’s Hot”, Paris
Hilton attempted to take her brand to the next level by attempting a singing
career. She was semi-successful since she is one of the few who actually got
radio time. Her song was played more than once unlike the rest of these monstrosities
to come. She should stick to reality entertainment and maybe her fragrance
line. It is not completely bad, but if you cannot sing you have to be a
performer, which I doubt she is.
That’s lukewarm…. at most…
Kim Zolziack
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Known for her fake hair, fake cancer, and crazy antics on
RHOA this mother of 3 gave a shot at a music career. Her wig cap must have been
really tight around her head if she thought she sounded amazing. I think we
should let your wig cap off for a while and let your brain level off so it can
hear your mediocre tune.
Tardy? With music like this no one will be in attendance!
Melissa Gorga
Devoted Christian, devoted mother, and devoted wife, but one
thing she cannot add to her resume is amazing performer. Yes, this RHONJ cast
member can sing to an average level, but unless you can sing like Susan Boyle,
your entertainment days are long gone. Britney Spears and other artists in
their prime could get away with below par singing because they could put on a
show and not look desperate.
seems like we didn’t have to wait that long to watch you
fall…
Angelina, from Jersey Shore
Downright bitch and bat shit crazy, Angelina brought the
right kind of angst and drama to the Jersey Shore and acted as the villain in
the first 2 seasons. She used this infamy that she gained to sing a song that
could probably be best described as a jersey sewer rat musical.
the only thing that’s hot is the fever you are running
thinking this is good
Mike, the Situation
The situation, more like patient
zero in some kind of new venereal disease, attempted to break his GTL by adding
singing to his unimpressive resume. Let’s just say this self-titled song will
leave the audience wanting less, and let’s face it he doesn’t have a lot going
for him.
Popeye, please leave the singing/rapping to real artists
Kim Kardashian
Claiming not to be after the fame and money, the 72-day
divorcee attempted to create a song. The song was being horrid and wretched
that I am in shocked she allowed its release. She at least did something right
by donating the proceeds to charity, but this wanna be club anthem brings
nothing to be desired. I am not expecting game changing music, but at least
make it mediocre enough to be listened to and catchy enough to be repeated (aka
any POP song). Once again, Kim Kardashian proved that she has absolutely no
talent whatsoever.
Talking, the new singing
For those who enjoy kim being a slut enjoy…just mute!
Heidi Montag
The Hills are not alive
with the sound of Heidi Montag’s music. Before her metamorphosis into a human,
plastic and silicone hybrid, Heidi attempted to hash out a singing career and
cash in. The singing is generic to the point that you could say any blonde
bimbo on the street recorded this.
Does she come with replaceable parts?
Tyra Banks
Model extraordinaire, millionaire mogul, reality judge, author,
and day time host. A very impressive resume to say the least, but she likes to
mention all of her struggles with weight and overcoming adversity, but she conveniently
her singing career. Why you may ask? The answer is simple….she cannot really
sing or dance. Stick to SMIZING and you should be fine.
where’s the booty tooch?!?
Tila Tequila
Tila Tequila, known for being a slutty vixen trying to find
true love, attempted singing. Her voice, which sounds forced, leaves the ears
wanting to bleed out instead of listen to one more second. I am not alone in
this since rocks and feces were flung at her at an Insane Clown Pose concert.
I didn’t know ANTZ had a slutty soundtrack?!?
To conclude, all of you reality stars should stick to what
you know best and that is crying, fighting, divorcing, and being over the top ridiculous.
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